Three years ago I’ve accidentally stumbled upon Four Last Things, a bizarre comedy point and click adventure game built entirely out of the Renaissance paintings. It was simple, yet incredibly fun and funny and reminded me of the the best elements from the 90s attempts by 7th Level to make a Monty Python game, without all of the crap that was also present in those games. It was also a solid adventure game that wasn’t just a series of funny interactions and gags, even if most of it was simple. So I’m glad to say that The Procession to Calvary, a sequel of sorts, is in many ways even better.
The setup of the game, just as with the previous one, is simple and silly. The holy war is over, no more blood will be spilled in the name of it. Except, our main character really wants to murder more people. Killing the tyrant who escaped the war and wasn’t punished seems like a good excuse, so that’s what sends her on the quest. Getting to the target, however, isn’t that simple and she will need to overcome obstacles to get to her goal.
This is, of course, done in the usual for adventure games fashion – by killing everyone. I mean, by solving puzzles and helping others. You can, however, kill everyone, since, as a warrior, you are equipped with a sword you can unsheathe at any point. Which is a fun addition to the usual formula even if the payoff is rather disappointing and never really goes to truly funny subversion of expectations like something that you can find in Zork: Grand Inquisitor, for example. Nonetheless, the “puzzles” are usually clear, the goals are fun to get to and the writing rarely gets “too silly”.
There are a few moments where the game slightly falters as an adventure title, there are moments where the jokes are a bit too dumb, but it doesn’t happen often. And besides, just like the previous title, you can complete this game with seeing pretty much everything in about 2 hours (if you’re a fast reader, at least). Which is a perfect length for a game of this type. Additionally, due to the switch to Unity, the game now properly supports higher than 1080p resolutions and, in general, should run better and have less issues. If you didn’t like Four Last Things? Yeah, this is more of the same, just better, really. If you have played it and liked it, then definitely get this one as well. And if you haven’t played Four Last Things, well, get both, especially if you can enjoy this sort of silliness.